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She goes on about how she can't remember the last time she hooked up with a guy sober, especially on a regular basis. I don't want to force things because we're baggate friends first, but if she wanted to date I'd be all for it. What should I do? Freshman flings are some of the most exciting you'll experience in college. Take heed- the lighthearted nature of a FF can quickly turn ugly when out of the blue, you don't even realize it, and you're mid OTPHJ from some rando…and you're someone else's boyfriend. Oh you didn't know?

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The important factor here is that you give the guy space. Guys generally avoid emotional conversations at all costs — in fact, a lot of guys would rather be single and alone than have to deal with emotional conversations. So to make the first major answer explicitly clear: The other side of what I wanted to address and I actually believe this is your biggest concern is: Again, my perception is that deep down inside, you want a second chance at love with this guy. It comes down to one thing: Does he want you enough… or not? Or was there a more benign cause for not only my actions, but theirs?

In order to make sense of things, I did what most of us do when in need of information regarding a problem — I googled. All in all, the common theme is fear. Post break-up, as the dust settled, I realised that I had come to view relationships as a stressful process, a rollercoaster ride of insane highs and devastating lows. After all, those were my experiences which, on foot of conducting further research into the topic, I realised was in itself a large part of the problem. Time to stop blaming others and take responsibility In Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection And Finding the Courage to Lovecommitment phobia expert Steve Carter outlines eight hurdles between an individual and the relationship that they deserve.

In his book, Carter deftly analyses each problem, points out self-destructive nonsolutions, and explains the steps necessary to break the barrier.

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Breaking the pattern involves examining how and why you choose particular partners and unearths the factors that drive you to hit the self-destruct button in relationships — in other words, he encourages the reader to make the transition from blame to responsibility. Bad relationship behaviour does not equal bad person. After all, many bad partners are great friends. More importantly, I have also come to realise that relationships are by their very nature scary — and always will be. The fear is healthy and normal.