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They feel safer with their batterers because they know what they are up to. They're scared of their abusers. Victims believe that if they leave the relationship, their abusers will act on threats they've made in the past.

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Community resources for victims may not be well known or easy to use. Victims may not know about their options. They may not receive help from the community because their abusers may be rich, well known or respected. Abusers are good at changing their personalities to hide abusive behavior in public. They may be used to focusing on the needs of their abusers and feel unsure about making decisions about their own safety and futures. When victims reach out for help, professionals often ask them to quickly decide their futures. Victims may feel uncomfortable with quick decision-making or big changes because they live in an environment where violent consequences discourage this.

Victims often do not have the money to survive away from their abusers. Victims who leave with no money face homelessness. They may be afraid that if they report the violence, their batterers will lose their jobs or reputations. Societal values cause victims to feel ashamed or embarrassed about the abuse. Victims may believe that outsiders shouldn't be involved in family matters. Gender roles, cultural and religious beliefs may make victims feel like they have to pretend that nothing is wrong at home.

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People close to them may not understand that leaving an abusive relationship is a long process and think victims fail when they go back with their abusers. They may also tell victims that their abusers are good people, that the abuse is not as bad as they say, or to go back and try harder to make things work. They may believe their batterers' messages that the abuse is their fault, that it happens because of alcohol or drug use, that they just can't control their anger, or that no one else will ever want the victims. These messages attack victims' self-esteem and make them doubt the way they feel about the violence.

Incidents of physical violence may occur in relatively short bursts. Afterward, their batterers may be gentle and loving, and promise to change, acts that are as manipulative as the physical violence.